The friend shift

That's what my Mum calls it. When your life, or their life just doesn't seem to be on the same page anymore. It's that time when you realize that getting together is increasingly forced and what used to be a conversation and hang-out several times a week, fades into ... well, "I'll see you soon."

Most often you can see this coming. Perhaps because there's a major change in life - a new relationship, a new job, a new home, a new adventure. Those are often easy things to see how it'll impact your friendship and whether you'll maintain the connection. And sometimes it comes out of nowhere, where you thought with all confidence that this person was an incredible friend and then suddenly you're left wondering where that person has gone? Sometimes that friend disappears from your very eyes while you're still hanging out with them and you're left thinking, "are we actually friends?"

Sometimes the friend shift is for very good reasons. It could be self-preservation. It could simply be a matter of knowing that you had a great run and that's all it was. But more often than not, it's wounding, frustrating, sad. To say goodbye to a friend or in some cases never have the opportunity to say goodbye at all, leave a little black mark on your soul. Sure, I know that everyone's ok on the other side, it's not like we don't just get on with things. But there's always that little mark. That's the friend shift.